SHIVANI'S POV

"I told you to not eat that pastry yesterday, now look this dress is tight." My mother sighs in disappointment.

"You can't get anymore fat Shivani, you have to impress the groom, who will like you if you look like this?" She glares at me, I don't answer back because I don't want her to hit me, I am twenty two and I am legally an adult but she still uses force on me. These words break me everytime, earlier I used to cry but not anymore, I am used to it now.

"And take off your specs and wear your lenses, my god I don't know what I did wrong for you to have such a body." I hate how my mother casually drops such comments thinking they're normal, but they aren't, they are distressing, very painful.

"I wish you weren't born. Having you was my biggest mistake." She says silently as if talking to herself, but I hear it.

I look at myself in the mirror, and I see a young woman with a broken spirit. My mother's constant criticism has made me feel like I'm not good enough. Sometimes I try seeing myself differently but her words ring in my head anytime I feel like I am beautiful and I am back at hating my looks. My eyes are defective, I am fat, I have stretch marks, my hair is thin and at the rate my hair is falling I feel I will be bald in a year or two, nothing about me is good, I think what she says is actually true.

I met Rudraksh's mother yesterday, she was a nice lady, at least on the front I don't know how she is at her home because I have seen mother change colors in second, she's someone else in front of people, so sweet and caring and for me she's the monster. I just hope for my sake at least my mother in law will be good. But yesterday when my mother said that I have gained a little wait and that don't mind me, I was very embarrassed, but my to-be mother in law stepped in saying that I am absolutely gorgeous, her words not mine, it shut up my mother real quick. It gave me hope, and I am clinging to it.

I don't think I am ready to meet Rudraksh yet, I know I have to but I am scared and nervous. I know he won't eat me but yesterday after agreeing for this marriage I googled him, As I scrolled through the search results, I saw the pictures of Rudraksh Malhotra, the man I'm supposed to meet and spend the rest of my life with.

He's handsome, I'll give him that. His brown eyes seemed to pierce through the screen, but they were expressionless, giving away nothing. His chiseled features and muscular build made him look like a sculpture, but there was something about him that seemed... cold. Unapproachable. His sharp jawline and piercing gaze made me shiver, and I couldn't help but wonder what kind of person he was behind that stoic exterior. I feel a flutter in my chest as I realize I'll be meeting this intimidating figure in just few minutes.

My mother made me wear a plain black suit with black duppata that had chikankari work on it, I actually like this attire, but not the reason why she choose this. According to her black makes me look thinner and her thoughts were that I will look more attractive that way. I styled my hair in its usual simple way - open and flowing with no fancy styling. I'm wearing minimal makeup, just a bit of eyeliner and kajal to define my eyes, and a small black bindi on my forehead.

"You look better. The driver is waiting outside for you, go fast." She orders. Before I could leave the room she grabs my arm strongly, applying force that would leave mark, "you better behave, don't mess this up shivani for your sake."

I nodded, her grip loosened a bit but she glared at me as if silently warning me and then she finally let me go.

I walked out of the house, the car was parked at the door, I sat in the back seat, I don't like doing that because Madhav uncle (the driver) has always been a father figure for me, since childhood he was more interested in how my day was or my achievements and he usually knew more about my likes and dislikes, better then my parents. I really like him a lot, and I am grateful for him but right now my mother is watching me from the terrace and so I take the back seat.

"You nervous?" Madhav uncle asks as he takes off.

"More than nervous." I say biting my nails, it's a habit that I don't like but can't shake it off. Every single time when I am anxious or nervous I do it.

"It's going to be okay. If you don't like him, mujhe bata dena, mai tumhe shaadi se bhaga dunga, tension mat lena." He says looking at me from the mirror and smiling at me.

(Translation- It's going to be okay. If you don't like him, let me know, I will help you elope from your marriage, don't take tension)

I smiled slightly at him, "you know I won't put you in risk uncle."

"I want you to be safe and happy beta and I will do anything for that." He says in a final tone. But I will not do anything to put him in line of fire, he's only one who's been nice to me.

The car screeched and stopped, I looked around to see we have arrived at the hotel, I give one final look to Uncle and took a deep breath, 'I can do it, it's not like he's going to kill me, we just have to talk.'

I stepped out of the car.

you're going to be alright shivani.

Author's note: Let me know your comments!